Carrying the Whole or Bringing Your Part: Our relationship with responsibility

IN THE CONVERSATION

Carrying the Whole or Bringing Your Part

Our relationship with responsibility

A reflection from Conscious Participation™

What if responsibility does not mean holding everything?

Somewhere inside the grip is a hidden belief:

It is on me.

The outcome. The relationship. The healing. The family. The work. The experience everyone else is having.

The whole of it – mine to carry.

This belief may not feel like a belief. It may feel like love, leadership, loyalty, competence, or simply what must be done.

Sometimes it began in a family or environment where we learned to notice what was needed before anyone asked. Perhaps we became the steady one, the capable one, the mediator, the helper, or the person who could be counted on to hold things together.

There is dignity in being dependable.

There is also a cost when dependability becomes responsibility for everything and everyone around us.

Conscious Participation™ offers a different arrangement.

It does not ask us to carry the whole.

It asks us to faithfully bring our part.

Carrying is not the same as caring

Carrying can be difficult to recognize because it often grows from sincere care.

We want someone we love to be well. We want the gathering to feel meaningful, the team to succeed, the relationship to heal, the client to have a powerful experience, or the people around us to feel supported.

These desires are not the problem.

The weight begins to accumulate when we believe our care makes us responsible for the result.

We start managing the emotional experience of others.

We anticipate needs that have not been expressed.

We work harder when someone else withdraws.

We monitor whether people are pleased, engaged, healing, changing, or making the choices we believe will help them.

We may offer more than was requested and remain longer than we have the capacity to stay.

Eventually, service can become entangled with over-responsibility.

We are no longer bringing our care into relationship. We are trying to carry the relationship itself.

The quiet hierarchy of helping

Helping is not inherently hierarchical. Human beings need one another. We teach, tend, guide, accompany, protect, and offer what we know.

But helping can quietly create an arrangement that says:

I have something you need.

I know what should happen.

Your movement depends on what I provide.

Even when this is not our intention, it can place one person above the process and the other beneath it.

Collaboration offers another posture:

We each have something to bring.

This does not deny differences in skill, experience, responsibility, or role. A facilitator still facilitates. A leader still leads. A practitioner still brings training, perception, and care.

But no one is required to become the singular authority, rescuer, healer, or holder of everything.

Each person remains in relationship with their own agency.

Each person has a part.

When this becomes possible, something loosens.

Not the care – the grip.

Fulfillment without depletion

During a recent experience of service, I noticed something that initially surprised me.

The work required presence, flexibility, travel, attention, and care. There were meaningful circumstances and many people participating in different ways.

Yet I did not leave depleted.

I felt grounded, joyful, curious, and alive.

The difference was not that the work required less of me. The difference was that I was not carrying it alone.

I brought my gifts.

Others brought theirs.

The people being supported remained participants in their own experience. No one person was required to know everything, provide everything, or determine what the moment must become.

There was service, spaciousness, curiosity, reciprocity, joy, and enoughness.

There was room to listen and respond.

There was room for the work to belong to everyone who was participating in it.

This revealed a form of fulfillment I had not always allowed myself to trust:

Fulfillment without depletion.

Not because nothing was given, but because giving remained in relationship with receiving.

Not because the work did not matter, but because its importance did not make it mine to control.

Bringing your part is not a smaller offering

For those of us accustomed to carrying, bringing only our part may initially feel insufficient.

We may worry that we are withholding, becoming less devoted, or leaving someone unsupported.

But bringing our part is not a smaller way of showing up.

It is a truer one.

Carrying says, I must compensate for everything that is missing.

Bringing says, I will be faithful to what is mine.

Carrying reaches beyond our boundaries and often beyond our actual authority.

Bringing asks us to become more present, not less.

We must discern what we genuinely have to offer. We must notice when our contribution is complete. We must allow others to respond, choose, participate, and bring what belongs to them.

This can require more trust than over-functioning.

When we stop filling every opening, we discover whether someone else will step forward.

When we stop managing every outcome, we make room for life to move in ways we could not have arranged.

When we remain in relationship with ourselves while serving another, our care becomes more sustainable and more honest.

What is yours to bring?

You might begin by noticing where responsibility becomes heaviness.

Is there a person, relationship, family, project, or outcome you feel you must hold together?

What do you believe would happen if you stopped carrying the whole?

What is genuinely yours to tend, communicate, offer, decide, or complete?

What belongs to another person?

What belongs to timing, circumstance, mystery, or life itself?

These questions are not meant to divide the world into rigid territories. Relationships are living, and our responsibilities sometimes overlap.

The invitation is simply to notice when care has become control, when service has become self-abandonment, or when responsibility has expanded beyond what is actually ours.

Perhaps your part is to tell the truth.

To make the meal.

To share your knowledge.

To ask for help.

To create the structure.

To sit beside someone without trying to change what they feel.

To offer the invitation and allow another person to choose.

To rest when your contribution is complete.

A different way of being of service

I am learning to be of service without becoming responsible for everyone’s experience.

I can bring my gifts without making them the only gifts that matter.

I can stay grounded.

I can remain in relationship with myself.

I can care deeply without assuming that love requires me to carry the whole.

Conscious Participation does not ask us to withdraw from life.

It asks us to enter it honestly – with our attention, our agency, our limitations, our gifts, and our willingness to be changed by what we meet.

We bring what is ours.

We allow others to bring what is theirs.

We leave room for life to bring something too.

This is not less devotion.

It is participation without possession.

Service without self-abandonment.

Responsibility without the burden of believing it is all on us.

You do not have to carry the whole.

Bring your part.

Let it be enough.

CONSCIOUS PARTICIPATION™

We are not here to master life. We are here to participate in it consciously.

This reflection is part of the evolving work of Conscious Participation™.

Its themes are explored more deeply in Remember Your Truth — Volume Two: The Living Bridge™.

Explore Volume Two

Preparation or Participation? Our relationship with readiness

IN THE CONVERSATION

Preparation or Participation?

Our relationship with readiness

A reflection from Conscious Participation™

What if readiness is not something you achieve before life begins?

Preparation can be an expression of care.

We prepare for a meaningful conversation because we want to speak thoughtfully. We learn before stepping into a new responsibility. We tend to our wounds so they do not unconsciously direct our choices. We build skill, gather information, make plans, and create conditions that help us meet what is ahead.

Preparation has value.

It can also become a place we remain long after it has served its purpose.

We may keep learning because we do not yet trust ourselves to begin.

We may continue healing because we believe we must resolve every wound before allowing ourselves to be visible, intimate, creative, or fully alive.

We may wait for greater certainty, a clearer sign, a better body, more money, less fear, the right timing, or a version of ourselves who finally feels qualified to enter the life we want.

Preparation gives us a sense of safety.

Participation requires trust.

The life that was supposed to come later

There are experiences that interrupt the quiet assumption that life will wait for us.

Cancer was one of those experiences for me.

It brought me into contact with uncertainty that could not be resolved through planning, positive thinking, spiritual understanding, dependence on guidance from others, or trying to control what was unfolding.

It also revealed how easily the present can become a passageway to somewhere else.

We tell ourselves we will live more fully after the appointment, the answer, the recovery, the accomplishment, the transition, or the difficult season.

Some seasons do require our focused attention. There are times when preparation, treatment, rest, protection, or survival must take the foreground.

But even then, life is not waiting somewhere beyond the experience.

Life is happening within it.

This does not mean every moment must be embraced, enjoyed, or transformed into meaning. Participation is not forced gratitude. It does not ask us to call suffering a gift or perform peace while something inside us is frightened, angry, exhausted, or grieving.

Sometimes conscious participation looks like action.

Sometimes it looks like receiving help, establishing a boundary, asking a question, grieving what has changed, resting without explanation, or admitting that we do not know.

Even not yet can be an honest form of participation when it arises from discernment rather than avoidance.

The distinction is not always visible from the outside.

It is felt in our relationship with the moment.

When readiness becomes a horizon

Readiness can be deceptive because it often moves as we approach it.

We believe we will begin when we feel confident, only to discover that confidence develops through beginning.

We wait to speak until we have the perfect language, though the language may become available only within the conversation.

We postpone sharing our work until we understand its complete form, though the form may be revealed through our relationship with the people it is here to serve.

We prepare to become healthy, confident, launched, loving, secure, retired – or finally alive.

There is always another book to read, another possibility to consider, another internal pattern to understand, another condition to improve.

Growth remains valuable. Learning continues. Healing deepens.

But preparation can quietly become a substitute for participation.

The question may no longer be, Am I completely ready?

It may be, Is there enough readiness for one honest step?

Readiness is not the absence of uncertainty

We often imagine readiness as a settled internal state: fear has receded, doubt has resolved, and the path has become clear.

Sometimes that happens.

More often, readiness appears as a willingness to enter into relationship with what is here before we know where it will lead.

We begin the conversation without knowing its ending.

We offer the work before it feels complete.

We allow ourselves to be seen while part of us still wants to hide.

We take one step without demanding that it reveal the entire path.

Participation does not require complete understanding before it begins.

It asks for presence.

It asks for enough honesty to recognize what is here, enough discernment to notice what belongs to us, and enough trust to make the next movement available – not every movement that may ever be required.

The rest can remain unknown.

Preparation has a season

The invitation is not to reject preparation.

It is to recognize when its season has changed.

There is a time to gather, practice, recover, listen, build, and wait.

There is also a moment when more preparation no longer brings us closer to life. It simply delays our encounter with it.

Only we can begin to feel that difference.

Preparation may feel patient, purposeful, and connected to something real.

Postponement often feels circular. We revisit the same questions, move the threshold farther away, or create new requirements each time we approach it.

One leaves us resourced.

The other keeps us almost ready.

A question for today

Is there an area of your life in which preparation may have completed its work?

What are you waiting to know, change, heal, acquire, or become before you allow yourself to begin?

Is that condition truly necessary – or has it become part of the distance between you and your life?

What would participation look like if it did not have to be dramatic?

Perhaps it is one honest sentence.

One application submitted.

One boundary named.

One hour given to the work that keeps calling you.

One moment of pleasure that is not earned by finishing everything first.

One willingness to be where you are without treating this day as a waiting room.

What if today is not preparation?

What if today is part of the life you have been preparing for?

You can honor everything that brought you here.

You can keep learning.

You can continue to heal.

And you can begin living from where you are.

Preparation has a season.

Participation has its moment.

The grip says, I’ll arrive when I’m ready.

Conscious Participation™ says, You are already here.

Yes, I am.

So let’s begin.

CONSCIOUS PARTICIPATION™

We are not here to master life. We are here to participate in it consciously.

This reflection is part of the evolving work of Conscious Participation™.

Its themes are explored more deeply in Remember Your Truth — Volume Two: The Living Bridge™.

Explore Volume Two

The Grip: Our relationship with control

IN THE CONVERSATION

The Grip

What if the thing you are holding so tightly cannot be carried this way?

A reflection from Conscious Participation™

What if the thing you are holding so tightly cannot be carried this way?

There is a particular posture we assume when we are trying to make life go well.

The body braces. The mind moves ahead. Our attention reaches toward the next decision, the next problem, the next thing that could be prepared for or prevented.

We organize. Anticipate. Manage. Improve.

From the outside, this can look like competence. A well-run calendar. A dependable person. Someone who has thought of everything and can be trusted to keep things moving.

Inside, it may feel more like a forward lean – an almost imperceptible clenching around life.

This is the grip.

The grip is not a character flaw. It is a form of love that got confused about its job.

It may have developed because being prepared once protected you. Perhaps noticing what others missed helped you remain safe, connected, useful, or needed. Maybe life taught you that relaxing your attention came with consequences – or that if something mattered, it was your responsibility to hold it together.

The grip often carries a quiet promise:

If I can understand enough, anticipate enough, work hard enough, or get this exactly right, I will finally be safe.

Sometimes that promise appears to work.

Preparation prevents problems. Discernment matters. Thoughtful action changes outcomes. There is nothing inherently wrong with planning, caring, or bringing our full capacity to what is in front of us.

The question is not whether we should participate.

The question is whether participation has become control.

When care becomes control

Control does not always announce itself as force.

Sometimes it looks like continually revisiting a decision that has already been made.

Sometimes it is preparing for every possible response before allowing ourselves to speak.

It may look like carrying other people’s feelings, monitoring the emotional temperature of a room, or believing we must find the right words before an honest conversation can begin.

It can appear as constant self-improvement – the belief that one more insight, course, practice, healing experience, or piece of information will make us ready to live differently.

The grip may even borrow the language of responsibility, devotion, service, or love.

Yet beneath all of its different forms is often the same arrangement: life becomes something we are attempting to manage rather than something we are willing to meet.

We are present, but not fully available.

Part of us is already negotiating with what might happen next.

What the grip costs

Holding tightly can create a temporary sense of order. It can also make it difficult to recognize when life is already offering something we did not plan.

The grip narrows our field of vision.

We become so focused on producing the correct outcome that we may lose contact with what the moment is actually asking of us. We respond to what we fear may happen rather than what is here. We mistake vigilance for presence and effort for participation.

Over time, this can become exhausting – not only because we are doing too much, but because we are assuming a role that was never ours.

We begin carrying the whole rather than bringing our part.

We may feel responsible for the outcome of every conversation, the comfort of everyone we love, the pace of our own unfolding, or the path another person chooses.

And when life remains uncertain – as life does – we often respond by tightening again.

Loosening is not abandoning

The alternative to gripping is not passivity.

It is not indifference, resignation, or pretending that outcomes do not matter. It does not ask us to stop planning, caring, protecting, or acting.

Loosening the grip means becoming honest about what is ours to bring – and what is not ours to control.

It allows preparation to support participation rather than replace it.

We can still make the appointment, have the conversation, ask the question, establish the boundary, create the plan, or take the next step. But we do so in relationship with life rather than attempting to stand outside it and direct every movement.

This changes the inner posture.

Instead of asking, How do I make this turn out the way I need it to? we may begin asking:

What is here now?

What belongs to me in this moment?

What is the next honest movement available?

What might become visible if I stop trying to solve the whole thing at once?

These questions do not guarantee certainty. They return us to relationship.

A small experiment

You do not have to release everything you are holding.

You might simply notice where the grip is present today.

Where does your body tighten when you think about a particular person, decision, or unknown?

What are you trying to secure, prevent, or complete before you allow yourself to exhale?

What do you believe would happen if you brought your part without taking responsibility for the whole?

There is no need to make the grip wrong. It formed for a reason. It may have protected something precious.

You can acknowledge the intelligence that created it while becoming curious about whether it is still the only way available to you.

Perhaps loosening begins with one unclenched breath.

One conversation entered without rehearsing every possible ending.

One decision allowed to be enough for today.

One moment in which you stop reaching ahead and feel the life that is already here.

You cannot grip your way into a life that feels like yours.

But you can meet it.

You can listen.

You can bring what is yours to bring.

And you can allow life to participate too.

CONSCIOUS PARTICIPATION™

We are not here to master life. We are here to participate in it consciously.

This reflection is part of the evolving work of Conscious Participation™.

Its themes are explored more deeply in Remember Your Truth — Volume Two: The Living Bridge™.

Explore Volume Two

Essential Oils

How to Use Essential Oils

Essential oils are a wonderful tool to add to your self-care and spiritual practice. They help support your mood when you are feeling stressed, anxious, tired, frustrated, etc. They support healing by preventing colds, flu, infection and improve your immune response. Oils also help enhance your mood for a higher spiritual connection. What’s not to love?

Essential oils are a wonderful tool on their own and I feel they are even more powerful when used with other modalities for healing. I encourage each person to intuitively explore whether or not essential oils are right for them. If something does not feel right to them, I ask them to go with it. Sometimes that shows up as a resistance and sometimes it reveals itself another way.

The uses for oils are limitless and some of the ailments and remedies listed below is a great place to start. These holistic approaches I find to be most effective. Here’s a quick list of essential oils uses from my dear friend and Young Living mentor, Sue Sides:

Diving into using essentials oils may seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be.

PLANTAR FASCIITIS

Emotion: Associated with fear of the future, stepping forward in life, not liking the direction you are headed in life.

Remedy: Stretch the tendon on the bottom of the foot several times a day by standing on tippy toes and bending foot forward and no high heels

INFLAMMATION

Copaiba, any of the conifer oils like Spruce, Cypress or Fir. Emotional oils like Into The Future, Joy, Release or Motivation

INSOMNIA

Emotion: Associated with fear, anxiety, guilt, worry, or inadequacy.

Remedy: Journal prior to sleep, releasing worry, fear, doubt. Take a hot bath with Lavender, Valerian, Peace and Calming and or Frankincense 30 minutes before bedtime. You may also diffuse these oils and apply to bottoms of feet.

No technology 1 hour prior to bed.

YL makes a sleep product called Sleepessence that may help. B vitamins also may help. Yl makes a Super B supplement ( also great for depression)

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

Emotion: Associated with, anger, need to be in control, letting reactions rule, and interfering with others lives.

Remedy: Release on bottoms of feet and diffuse. Joy on heart chakra 3 times a day. Journal feelings daily.

Additional Oils: Lavender, Peace and Calming

ANXIETY

Emotion: Feels boxed in, helpless to change, unable to call the shots in their life

Remedy: Into The Future on base of skull, Lavender or Peace and Calming diffuse, Release on bottoms of feet.

DIABETES / BLOOD SUGAR

Emotion: Judging self or others harshly, obsessed with wanting to control, Joy of life is gone, Emotional shock, Ashamed of something you did in the past, on going feelings of sorrow, need more sweetness in life for self ( all or one or two could be at the root )

Remedy: Blood Sugar Solution book and cookbook by Dr. Mark Hyman (great resource even with recipes)

Ocotea, 1 drop on tongue prior to meals and at bedtime, Dill oil on wrists for sugar cravings
Cinnamon balances BS. May take 3 or 4 drops internally in capsule, put on food or feet

Diffuse Release, Joy, Peace and Calming

WEIGHT ISSUES

Emotion: Seeking love, protecting the body, Stuffed feelings, Trying to fulfill the self, Inability to admit to self and others what you desire, Using food as a substitute for affection.

Remedy: Young Living has a wonderful line of Slique products especially for weight. Includes Slique oil for water or diffusing, weight management capsules, Slique bars which I love and frequently eat for breakfast, and a Slique shake!

Journaling, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Dill oil on wrists for sugar cravings

Diffuse Joy, Motivation, Peace and Calming

DEPRESSION

Emotion: Anger turned inward, Feels like giving up on life, feels like it is no use, feels I’ll never be enough, Hopeless, Helpless.

Remedy: Journaling feelings, The Artists Way

Diffuse Joy, Motivation, Believe on heart, Frankincense for meditation and prayers well as on heart, Lavender or Peace and Calming on diffuser necklace

Movement of any kind helps, even stretching, bending, lifting. Daily walk outside!

Ask self— about what am I angry? If a person says they are not angry I would recommend the oil Release or even an Emotional Release session using the oils. *That process is in the Higley book Reference Guide For Essential Oils.

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Grounding Meditation

Grounding meditation with Tracey Owens Lowd

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How to Tap Into Your Creativity

Creativity is commonly thought of as a personality trait that resides within an individual. We count on creative people to produce the songs, movies, and books we love to read; to invent the new gadgets that can change our lives; and to discover the new scientific theories and philosophies that can change the way we view the world. Over the past several years, however, social psychologists have discovered that creativity is not only a characteristic of the individual, but may also change depending on the situation and context.

This article is written especially for all you writers, artists, business owners and anyone else looking for some new ways to get their creativity flowing. Feeling burnt out or lacking creative ideas? Feeling bogged down by all of the mundane tasks and To-Do lists? Do you procrastinate doing your work or your creative projects? Do you resist completing your work or marketing your work? Do you have trouble deciding which creative project to tackle? Do you find completing work hard? Are you looking for inspiration? Are you accessing your creativity less often than you would like? Are you avoiding your creative work altogether? Anxiety may be one of the main culprits. Anxiety can be everywhere in the creative process. I have found that anxiety is the number one problem that creative people face–and yet few are aware that their behaviors are anxiety related. Anxiety and overwhelm oftentimes stops creative people in their tracks and makes their experience of creating more painful than pleasurable. It has the capacity to stop would-be creative people entirely, preventing them from realizing their dreams.

“When we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower.”

When we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower. To understand how fear blocks creativity, take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story. First, imagine telling the story to someone you love dearly and who loves you dearly. You probably feel a welcoming warmth energy as you fill in the details of your story to your friend’s delight. Now, imagine telling the same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you feel uncomfortable. The wonderful twists and turns, the fine points and colorful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves the same way when you feel uncomfortable. Instead of the warmth, welcoming energy, and creativity, you will probably feel opposite sensations and a desire to want to close down. When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

Knowing this, we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. However, achieving this is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or perhaps unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy. Or what if we are afraid to successfully create something that grows like wildfire.

Inspiration and Intuition are the language of love and light where one can inter-communicate with God. Spending time alone with your thoughts is a good way to let that inner voice within you speak to you in such a way that it can offer you guidance and help inspire creativity. Close yourself up in your creative space or go out in the woods where you can be alone. When you are alone the Universe talks to you in flashes of inspiration.

When you are up against fear, internal or external, try some of these techniques to shift your experience:

Create A Circle of Energy

All types of ritual can be a powerful and a creative antidote. Before you sit down to be creative, try creating a circle of energetic protection and creativity around you. Visualize yourself inside a ring of light. Imagine that this protective energy emanates unconditional love for you and wants to hear, see, and feel everything you have to express. Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the powerful information that flows through you.

Jot Down Your Ideas Down

Get into the habit of writing your ideas down as soon as you have them. This way you train your brain to keep coming up with ideas, and as soon as you get them you write them down. When they are written down you don’t have to worry about remembering them and this allows more room for new ideas to form in your mind.

Be Spontaneous – Let Your Freak Flag Fly

If you feel like dancing, dance, if you feel like singing, sing. If you feel like drawing and coloring, draw and color. If you feel like shouting, find a place to shout. And if you hesitate, ask yourself why you are hesitating.

Get Moving – Time To Exercise

The effects of exercise and physical movement on the mind and creativity have been studied for centuries. There is no doubt that you feel much better after exercise. This is because after you exercise, endorphins (feel-good hormones) are released into your bloodstream.

Be Gentle With Yourself

Stop criticizing yourself and stop being so harsh on yourself. Accept yourself the way you are and do things to the best of your ability.

You are enough and you are creative. Don’t let self-limiting beliefs block out your creativity! Remove the barriers and the ideas will begin to flow.

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There are many forms of Transformation

There Are Many Forms of Transformation

Transformation is a hot topic for discussion these days. And it comes in many forms. For example, the human body transforms every 7 years. In a 7 year cycle, all of our cells are renewed and replenished. It is believed by many that this cellular renewal cycle involves spiritual transformation as well. This type of transformation happens for everyone. It is a natural and organic part of life, but it is usually the spiritual transformation that provides the most impact.

Before transformation can occur things must break down or appear to crumble in some way. Some part of us must die away in order to be transformed or rebirthed. Yes, this process can sometimes be painful, but it can also be one of the most magical and enlightening experiences we can have.

Think of the humble caterpillar. At a certain stage of its life, the caterpillar goes into the darkness of the cocoon, known as the chrysalis stage, in order to be transformed. Do you think the caterpillar knows what is happening when it goes into the cocoon? Do you think it can “see” past the darkness of the cocoon? As far as we know, the caterpillar has no idea what it is to become. Perhaps on some level, it can intuit what it is going to become, but throughout the process, the caterpillar is basically alone and faced with nothing except the memory of what it once knew to be true.

The animal kingdom can provide us clues as to the process of transformation and in many ways, help us to understand our own. Not only does the caterpillar morph into a beautiful butterfly, but snakes also shed their skin and let’s not forget the mythical phoenix that rises from the ashes.

Each of us are given just what we need to assist with our transformation. It is up to us to open ourselves to the infinite possibilities that are available to us. It begins with a willingness to explore new ideas and ways of being.

Affirmation:
Today, I look at life from a balanced perspective. Rather than resisting the forces of nature and its ever changing cycles, I choose flexibility and being open to new ideas and ways of being. I release rigid thinking and actions and gracefully embrace the new possibilities that this flexible balance brings. I must remember that nothing is missing, things are simply changing form. My life is forever transforming to an even greater expression of pure perfect love.
~ And so it is!

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Access to Courage, Strength, and Power

Courage, Strength, and Power

For nearly all of us on the spiritual path, higher states of consciousness seem to come and go. What do I mean by that? We encounter moments of great understanding, aliveness, growth, and possibility. And then, just as mysteriously as these shifts emerged, they seem to somehow fade from our view. Of course, we can’t “un-know” what we know, so we can never really go backward consciously but sometimes it feels as though we aren’t moving forward either. In other words, we aren’t courageously and consistently standing in our strength and personal power, and speaking our truth in ways that can effectively create change from the status quo!

What does it mean to be a powerful woman or a powerful man? Although we’ve seen many changes since the feminist movement of the early 70s, people continue to debate what it means for a woman or a man to identify, use, and enjoy their personal power.

“As a spiritual teacher, one of the big questions I’m constantly leaning into is: How can I better support people in their continual growth, assist them with remembering their truth, and then support them as they move towards a more effective communication style, from a place of power?”

The three “key ingredients” that help me answer this question and support my clients more fully are what I refer to as “Awareness,” “Willingness,” and “Immersion or Inspired Action.”

“Awareness” is when we move from the unknown to the known! There’s a saying, “I know what I know. I know what I don’t know. And I don’t know what I don’t know.” Awareness takes us from that place of being asleep to the beginning stages of waking up to a new possibility.

“Willingness” is what happens when someone has consciously awakened to an insight, received clarity, been made aware of a way of being that is no longer serving and then shift into a willingness to transform from the heart, in such a way that they are able to shift their perspective and shift future expressions simultaneously.

“Immersion or Inspired Action” is what we experience when we spend an extended period of time bringing ourselves back to this new awareness and immerse ourselves in the direct recognition of our own expansive nature. It’s something that is typically only possible when we choose to leave behind all stories of lack, comparison, not-enoughness, and other untruths and become willing to make a commitment to take inspired action and immerse ourselves in a new way of being, and anchor an awakened mindset so deeply that every impulse to move away from it gradually melts away.

Although most of us know deep down that we need a lot more than these three dimensions. Since in our busy lives, many of us are lacking a commitment and structure for accessing these elements on a regular enough basis to genuinely and consistently stabilize our powerful expression. But most of us also know from decades of experience that to truly step into a greater expression of sustained personal power, all of us need regular, sometimes frequent opportunities for in-depth Awareness, Willingness, Immersion and Inspired Action. We must become willing to re-activate this awakened consciousness again and again, until it becomes so familiar to us that we no longer get deceived by the ego’s attempts to imitate it.

I’ve found that the first major step to shifting consciousness and appreciating my own personal power, and unique talents is to identify them, value them, take ownership of them, and have the courage to use them well and often. To help you in this process, I have created a series of affirmations (series soon to be released) that will hereby empower people as they move through the various rites of passage and embark on a journey or task where their personal power is needed.

Here’s an example of these affirmations:

Today I open myself to life’s surprises and I give myself permission to be happy in each moment of the now. I know that my life is exactly how I “think” it is, so if there’s something about it that isn’t bringing me happiness, I change my thoughts about my situation. It’s all about my perception. I have the power, courage, strength, and freedom to enjoy my life fully. I find value and joy in new, unexpected opportunities.

~ And so it is!

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Prosperity and Abundance

One can never create prosperity by talking or thinking about a perceived lack of money. This is a misuse of creativity and simply cannot bring abundance. Dwelling on lack of any kind only creates more lack. Poverty thinking brings more poverty. Whereas gratitude thinking brings abundance and prosperity. This is Spiritual Law at work in our lives!

I work with clients each and every day on shifting their beliefs about finances and thank goodness I’ve had some great teachers along the way as well, many of whom continue to remind me of my power to create abundance. Pretty regularly, I hear people state a few negative affirmations and attitudes that are guaranteed to keep prosperity beyond reach. They are, “I never seem to have enough money!” or “I don’t have the money to do that!” Some other unproductive affirmations are: “Money goes out faster than it comes in.” or “There’s always something breaking down, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop!” This is poverty consciousness thinking at its finest. The Universe can only respond to what you believe about yourself and your life!

Sometimes people think that their financial problems will be solved by closing that one “perfect” deal, landing THE gig with the ultimate payoff, inheriting money from a long-lost relative, or winning the lottery. Sure, you can fantasize about such things, and even buy an occasional lottery ticket for fun, but the goal is not to put a lot of attention on acquiring money in this way. From my perspective, this falls in line with scarcity (lack and limitation) thinking, or poverty thinking, and chances are it won’t bring lasting good into your life. When it comes to winning the lottery, winning large sums of money seldom brings positive changes into anyone’s life. In fact, research shows that within two years, most lottery winners have lost or given away almost all of their money, have nothing to show for it, and are often worse off financially than before. The challenge is, when money is acquired in this way, it rarely solves any problems. Why? Because it doesn’t involve changing your consciousness. In effect, you’re saying to the Universe: “I don’t deserve to have good consistently in my life, except by a fluke chance or a big payoff.”

The overall goal is to shift your consciousness, your thinking and your relationship with the energy called money, then allow the abundance of the Universe to flow through your experience. You would then be able to receive and allow the experiences and material things you think getting the big payoff could bring you. And you’d more likely be able to embrace them, for they would be yours by right of consciousness. Examine whatever negative thoughts you have about money, and then decide to release them and let them go. They probably haven’t served you well in the past and will not serve you well in the future.

Affirming success, wholeness, prosperity, and abundance, then declaring, deserving, and allowing are the steps to demonstrating riches far greater that you could ever imagine. This falls into alignment with my mantra, “when what I say, think, feel and do are congruent, I am in alignment with my Authentic self.”

Another thing that can keep you from prospering is being dishonest. Whatever you give out comes back to you. Always!!! If you take from Life, then Life will take from you. It’s that simple. You may feel that you don’t TAKE from life, but are you paying attention to how you are acquiring certain things in life? Are you a person who TAKES time from others or robs others of respect or perhaps steals relationships in some way? All of these count and are a way of saying to the Universe: “I don’t really deserve the good in life. I have to sneak it or take it.”

Simply become aware of the thoughts and beliefs that may be blocking the flow of money in your life. Then change those thoughts and beliefs and begin to create new, abundant thinking. Even if no one else in your family has done this, you can open your mind to the concept of money flowing into your life.
I recently attended an event where the keynote speaker shared an incredible poem with us written by Ralph Waldo Emerson. “What is Success? To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critic and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether be a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; This is to have succeeded.”

For a long time, I’ve believed that business is a place where we bless and prosper each other. I’ve never really understood the concept of cutthroat business, where you try to cheat, compete, and pull a slick one over on another person. That doesn’t sound like a very joyous way to live and it sounds far from peaceful. After finding out that the building where my office has been located for several years, was being sold in February, I went on a search for the right and perfect space to relocate. I never once questioned that a location would reveal itself. Boy did they, and I visited over a half-dozen amazing properties. After some intention setting on January 1st, I joined forces with an incredible group of teachers, healing arts practitioners, speakers, and coaches and decided to rent a suite of 6 offices, 5 miles from my current office space, under the umbrella of my business, Remember Your Truth, LLC. To say that I am excited is an understatement! I feel that this is a precursor to a larger vision of creating a wellness and retreat center. I know that if I can dream it and elevate my consciousness to the vibration of it, I can create it. After all, I am constantly being reminded (and reminding others) that we can create anything we want!

We live in a world of abundance and there’s so much abundance available to each and every one of us in this world. All that is needed is to recognize that fact, embrace our prosperity consciousness, and become willing share the wealth with others in life-giving ways. Life will listen and respond to us with great success and prosperity.

Affirmation: “I am open and receptive to all the good and abundance in the Universe. I am a magnet for money. I think big and I allow myself to accept even more. I have unlimited choices knowing that opportunities are everywhere. I truly believe that we are here to bless and prosper each other and I reflect that belief in my daily interactions with others. I support others in becoming prosperous and in turn, life supports me in wondrous ways. I deserve the best and I accept the best right here and right now. I release all resistance to money and I now allow it to joyously flow into my life. Thank you, Life. – And so it is!”

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LIVE LOVE

Live Love

“At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” ~Jack Kornfield

We have all grown up with some healthy stories about love, as well as some unhealthy ones. Many of us have gone through life – consciously or unconsciously – selling ourselves short, withholding love or excessively giving of our time, money and resources because of our childhood beliefs and conditioning about love. For most of my life, I have functioned as a “codependent caregiver” and I had NO IDEA what it meant to fully love myself. Rather than trying to blame anyone for my lifestyle choices, I have decided to create my own beautiful ideas about love. It is my mission on this planet to LIVE LOVE – that is to love myself and others unconditionally and then assist others on their journey so that they can LIVE LOVE too!

I’d like to share some of those healthy ideas that I’ve put into place for loving the people in my life but before I go any further it’s important to say that the biggest lesson I’ve learned about love is that it starts with loving oneself. All of the lessons, behaviors, and conditioning that I reference below are guidelines for loving another, but until we love ourselves unconditionally, these guidelines are just that… guidelines – words on a piece of paper!

I use these as guidelines to express how I want to relate to the people around me. I’m finding that I am in vibrational alignment with ideas like these: Loving people means seeing their wholeness and believing 100% in their potential; Loving unconditionally truly means to love WITHOUT CONDITION and this takes practice. We have been conditioned to judge rather than observe; Love means treating people with kindness, compassion, and gentleness; Loving the people in your life means celebrating their successes and supporting them energetically, especially when they “believe” that they have failed in some way. Loving in this way does not include codependent behaviors like thinking that we must “carry the weight of the world for another.” It’s about choosing to give our loved ones a helping hand when it’s appropriate and preferably when they’ve ASKED for support. Rescue energy does not serve anyone! This principle falls into the category of Assisting verses Helping! (Whew, that one has been a biggee for me!)

You see, I grew up with some stories about love that are not my Truth. They came from good intentions and they’ve definitely served a purpose, up until now. On more than one occasion, I’ve allowed those ideas about love to create disharmony and breed resentments in many of my relationships. Some of those stories about love sound like: Loving someone means ALWAYS being available to them, regardless of your own schedule or current situation; Loving someone means ALWAYS having space for what they want to talk to you about, whether they are sharing with a venomous tone or not; and If you wanna be loved, you’ve gotta GIVE love to BE loved. In other words, you’ve gotta work for it! Another myth about love is: If you love someone, you do what they are asking you to do, out of love, even if it feels difficult or out of alignment with your Truth. (I can tell you, that doesn’t work so well either.)

I can certainly say that the career path I have chosen and the way I show up in service to humanity provides me with the perfect opportunity to see the wholeness, the perfection in each person I come in contact with. Many people were raised with beliefs and stories about love, similar to the ones I mentioned above. We have gone through life, by choice – consciously or subconsciously – selling ourselves short or withholding love because of these beliefs. Today, I completely understand that it’s important to tell your loved ones how much you love them. Tell them about their brilliance. They likely can’t see it the same way you do and they don’t know its immensity, but you can see it and you can illuminate it for them.

Be real, be authentic. Yes, it’s perfectly natural to give of yourself, but never sacrifice or compromise yourself! It’s important to STOP if you feel resentment building and regroup. By regrouping and reevaluating the situation, you are allowing the energy to flow without the obstruction of resentment! Don’t do the martyr thing! That serves no one and no-thing.

Give others the gift of the real you and a real relationship with you. Ask very sincere questions and powerfully support the other person as they respond. Share your truest beliefs. Speak your Truth with kindness and compassion, without filtering your response. Talk about your BIG dreams and utmost desires and encourage others to do the same with you. It’s all about being in community, making genuine friendships and living life on Purpose. Go for it!

What you love, you empower. What you hate, you empower. What you empower, you attract!

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